Archive for November 2008

59th Street

November 26, 2008

Saks

“‘scuse me, you look like you’re from around here.  Do you know where Saks Fifth Avenue is?”

“Yeah, sure, it’s on 49th Street.”

“OK, but which avenue?”

The Plaza

November 26, 2008

The Plaza

“And the next stop on our ‘Home Alone 2:  Lost in New York’ tour is the Plaza Hotel…”

Street Performer

November 26, 2008

Street Performer

“Gladys, aren’t real-life New York City street performers just soooooooo charming?”

“Actually, Rose, I think that’s a homeless.”

Ugglys

November 26, 2008

Ugglys

“I don’t fucking believe it.  We wait for YEARS for the Peoria Shopping Mall to get Uggs in stock.  Then, when they finally do, just in time for our big gals’ trip, we arrive in New York only to find that they are now woefully unpopular!”

General Sherman

November 24, 2008

General Sherman

“Go pose with that statue, Shelly.”

“Why?  Is it something famous?”

“Heck if I know, but what did we say before we came here…?”

“I know, we gotta get our picture taken with 100 different statues.”

“Or…?”

“Or…we can’t show our faces back in Akron.”

“Exactly.  Now say fuckin’ cheese.”

“Australia” Premiere

November 24, 2008

Australia

“If we stand like cattle here for the next three hours, I’m almost certain we’ll see a Kardashian!  Soooo worth it!”

Elastic Pants

November 24, 2008

Elastic pants

Now I’ve never been one for dress codes.  But I’m really starting to think, minimum requirement to enter Manhattan should at least be pants with pockets.  Or belt loops.  Or, you know, NOT elastic waistbands.  It really ruins the aesthetic for the rest of us.