The Best of Times, the Worst of Times

Yahoo Real Estate ranked NYC #1 best place to live…and #1 WORST place to live.

New York topped both lists because the city has much to offer — such as entertainment, Central Park, and great public transportation — but people pay and sacrifice much to experience it, such as high rent, cramped subways and long suburban commutes.

On this absolute downpour of a day, after having gotten soaked from my shoes to my thighs–in only five minutes of being outside as I tried to navigate around fatass tourists using golf umbrellas bigger than most restaurants’ awnings–I will agree that, yes, this is the worst place in the world to live.

For Christ’s sake, is it too much to ask tourists to, for once, add some giddy-up to their step when it’s pouring outside?!

Explore posts in the same categories: Misc.

15 Comments on “The Best of Times, the Worst of Times”

  1. Cindy Says:

    I think there should be a no umbrellas ordinance and only rain coats allowed. Walking down the street swiftly is impossible with those patio size umbrellas!

  2. Aaron Goldfarb Says:

    Totally agree Cindy.

    Seriously, how fucking rude and selfish are these people walking down the street carrying inverted satellite dishes above their heads? I don’t know how many times I’ve nearly gotten an eye poked out. Now, I just slap these giant umbrellas out of my way.

  3. KingOttoIII Says:

    What is “an I poked out”? Maybe you should spend less time criticizing tourists and more time learning proper grammar.

    I hate when it rains. Logic says that if it is raining you should move faster to spend less time in it. For some reason everyone moves sloooower. Makes no friggin sense. And I hate the umbrellas. They are dangerous. I usually use a hood so I can try and get by these idiots.

  4. Aaron Goldfarb Says:

    No clue what you’re talking about, KOIII. My grammar is impeccable.

  5. ummmmheyyyy Says:

    I FOUND YOU Aaron Goldfarb… it’s all coming together

  6. ummmmheyyyy Says:

    Wait no it’s not. What’s your frickin blog?

  7. Aaron Goldfarb Says:

    This is my frickin blog, Ummmmmheyyyy.

    I have another frickin blog too:

    http://www.theviceblog.com

    What’s coming together?

  8. ummmmheyyyy Says:

    that’s what she said

  9. Aaron Goldfarb Says:

    I’m gonna go start leaving mid-day drunken comments on your blog too, ummmmheyyyy. Try to stop me! Try to un-approve them!

  10. ummmmheyyyy Says:

    i wouldn’t. i don’t believe in Unapprove -age.

  11. Aaron Goldfarb Says:

    Nor do I, Samatha. So let the comment battle begin!!!

  12. the guy who just walked into you Says:

    Its about time something was said about the umbrella problem.

    I hate it when it rains in NYC. Those damn super sized umbrellas that hotels give to their guests really piss me off. Your trying to walk down the street with your “normal” size umbrella and all of a sudden you have a group of people with the same exact umbrellas walking in front of you trying to see who can make it to their destination the slowest.

    If a tourists or new yorker “accidentally” hits me with one of these umbrellas (and they know what they did and don’t say sorry) ill always say, “Are you !@#$%^& serious, this is the city not the !@#$%^& beach. ” Some look confused and puzzled, so ill also have yell, “GET A DIFFERENT UMBRELLA!!! ”

    A couple of days ago when it rained i was walking up stairs at the 59th and Lex station, don’t know if he was a tourist or not but the guy in front of me hits me right in teh chest with one of these massive umbrellas, the guy turns around and stares at me like its my fault and says nothing. If it wasn’t so damn early and i wasn’t so damn tired i think i would’ve grabbed this guys umbrella and thrown it down to the platform below.

    Hey KingOttoIII, this is a BLOG, who cares about proper grammar!?!?!?

  13. Aaron Goldfarb Says:

    Guy:

    I can’t believe it took me so many years to notice, but it wasn’t until this week that I realized that all these fucking giant tourist umbrellas had hotel logos on them. That got me really fuming.

    I’ve been known to use my umbrella to slam down on a tourists’ umbrella which causes all the collected water on their umbrella to splatter on them. It’s a good move.

  14. ummmmheyyyy Says:

    Comedy Points for Hypothetical Large-Umbrella Situation:

    pulling a The Guy Who Just Walked Into You: -1
    pulling an Aaron: +3

  15. Aaron Says:

    You’re too kind, Samantha!


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