Just nine days into the New Year, we have our first bid for Tourist of the Year.  To wit:

Columbus Circle.  Three fiftysomething female tourists.  One walks quite briskly, staying a good ten feet in front of her two pals.

SLOW TOURIST FRIEND:  Mary, slow down, we can’t keep up!

SLOW TOURIST FRIEND #2:  You’re walking too fast!

Without breaking stride, Mary turns back toward her two friends.

MARY:  No you guys are walking too slow.  I’m walking New York speed.  You’re walking Arizona speed.

Congratulations, Mary, NYCTourists salutes you!  A true tourism hero!

Explore posts in the same categories: Tourist Talk

8 Comments on “TOURIST TALK”

  1. ummmmheyyyy Says:

    Oh the Arizoniuns. Very slow, very awkward, very Navajo. It’s a culture shock going there, I tell you.

  2. Aaron Goldfarb Says:

    Only been to Phoenix briefly. It was like Florida but hotter and even more boring.

  3. the guy who just walked into you Says:

    No one walks out there in AZ, In the Phoenix metro area they have sidewalks 2x the size of the average NYC sidewalk but not a single person for miles walking on them.

  4. ummmmheyyyy Says:

    They walk, but they walk to the liquor store/Safeway and then drop their giant bottle of vodka and pass out on the pavement, hitting their head on the way. Or make it past the pavement and pass out with friends on the grass. True story.

  5. Aaron Says:

    Passing out drunk on the front lawn in the middle of the afternoon? That actually kind of sounds like…the life!

  6. At least she tried, and burned some calories in the process

  7. the guy who just walked into you Says:


    Hahaha…sounds just like a semester I did out at ASU.

  8. ummmmheyyyy Says:

    ehh. The one time we looked at the temperature while in Phoenix, it was a mild 114 degrees. Then we went to “the water park” which was a pitiful replica of one-tenth of Six Flags

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