TOURIST TALK

Phone conversation with My Father the NYC Tourist.

MFTT:  Hi, just got into the city.

AARON:  Cool, where you at?

MFTT:  Somewhere in the 60s.

AARON:  East or West side?

MFTT:  Uh…West.

AARON:  What avenue?

MFTT:  Not sure.  (yelling out to someone) What avenue is this? (back to me) Columbus.

AARON:  So are you at Columbus Circle?

MFTT:  What’s that?

AARON:  You lived in New York for over 30 years and you don’t know what that is?!  What street are you on?

MFTT:  I’m in some coffee shop.  67th I think.

AARON:  Oh, that Starbucks there?

MFTT:  You want me to go to a Starbucks?  I think I saw one nearby.

AARON:  NO!  Are you at Starbucks?

MFTT:  No, just a coffee shop.

AARON:  Well which fucking one?

MFTT:  Give me a second to walk outside and see what this place is called.

AARON:  For God’s sakes!  Just sit there and I will come find you.

I hang up.

Two minutes later I get  a text from my father:  “where should I meet you?”

Explore posts in the same categories: Tourist Talk

6 Comments on “TOURIST TALK”

  1. the guy who just walked into you Says:

    This has nothing to do with the post above,

    Does anyone avoid sitting under or near the subway maps posted in the cars???

    I can’t stand the tourists and some NYers who use them…It takes some of them around 5 minutes to find their present location and then try to figure out where to get off. All the while they forget that someone is directly in front of them trying to relax after working all day or night. I don’t understand how you can board a train and not know what line your on and/ or when to get off.

  2. Aaron Goldfarb Says:

    I actually usually stand on most trains because I can’t handle having my face at crotch level with all these fatsos sidling up to me. I feel less cramped and able to actually breath if I stand. And I actually walk everywhere under 30 blocks just because I like to control my own destiny.

  3. Michael S Says:

    if i have to see tourists, i like seeing them on the subway-it’s so fun watching them look around marveling at the subway system. it’s so novel and fancy to them, they pull out the map(s), etc

  4. Michael S Says:

    if i have to see tourists, i like seeing them on the subway-it’s so fun watching them look around marveling at the subway system. it’s so novel and fancy to them, they pull out the map(s), etc

  5. Stephanie Says:

    It’s totally weird how after a while, your parents turn into kids, and you have to remind them how things work. Mine are pretty good when they come to NYC to visit, but as soon as we get on the subway they can’t function normally. I guess they just don’t pay attention because they know I will, but it is a tad annoying.

  6. Aaron Goldfarb Says:

    Yeah, my relatives never pay attention either when they are visiting. It’s like I have to hold their hands lest they just walk right into traffic. Maybe I should get those bungee cord leashes bad parents connect to their brat children.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: